Think Big and Be Happy – The goal of marriage is to create a home of genuine love and peace so just drop all the small pettiness. When a couple has a truly loving relationship they feel they have everything. On the other hand if your marriage is sour life seems to lose it’s meaning. Does it really make a difference that your spouse leaves their coffee cup on the table? Is it worth fighting over and creating disharmony? Many long drawn out conflicts start over something that is meaningless. If we would only open our eyes to the innumerous benefits we are gleaning just by being married we would not even see the small imperfections in the relationship. You could write a book titled “The Positive Things My Spouse Does for Me”. Maybe you should write that book and read it once a week. The Talmud (Yevamos 63a) says as follows: Rav Hiyya was constantly tormented by his wife. Nevertheless, whenever he obtained anything suitable from the market he wrapped it up in his scarf and brought it to her. Rav said to him, “Surely, she is tormenting the Master!” He replied “It is sufficient for us that they rear up our children and deliver us from immoral behavior”. From here we can learn an important principle: Focus on what’s really important and to stop being fussy. Maybe this joke will help: A man goes back to the Rabbi a month after he divorced his wife and asks if it’s ok to marry her again. The Rabbi asks why? He says, she’s not so bad for a second marriage.