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You are here: Home / Blog / How to Accept Your Life the Way it is – Shavous

How to Accept Your Life the Way it is – Shavous

June 11, 2014 by Rabbi Mitterhoff 1 Comment

how-to-accept-your-life
Are you disappointed?

Why? Life is not going the way you expected? Do you find yourself thinking, “this is not the way it’s supposed to be”. On the other hand, how do you really know how life is supposed to go? Did you learn it from your uncle, the media or your friends?  Do you have your own independent ideas on what life should or shouldn’t be?

Where is the money?

Hey, wasn’t I supposed to be rich? Didn’t they tell us on TV that the American dream is alive and well? Unfortunately this is not the case and most people are just barley making it through the month.  The economy has been faltering for years and every small thing costs a fortune. What is the meaning of life if you can’t buy what you want?  How are you supposed to be happy without the house in the Hamptons?

Are your kids driving you crazy?

For a Jew, nothing can be more painful then his children descending into the abyss of today’s insane philosophies and perverted societies.  The changes of the past 20 years has turned the world on it’s head, leaving anyone with a little bit of morality or intellect running for the hills. What is life about if our children are slowly becoming immoral? How can we feel content if our offspring are drowning in a sea of indecency?

Jew Boy

Once again, life is starting to make no sense for the average secular Jew.  American college campuses are becoming a hotbed for anti-Semitism under the new cloak of anti-Israel politics. Europe is also much more outspoken about its Jewish sentiment leaving Jews feeling insecure, fearful and wondering about who they are.  Life is no fun if you’re scared about hiding your religion. Happiness is fleeting for those of us who are in doubt of our future and place in society.

What the heck is going on?

If I was to continue complaining about the plight of our generation I could write a new chapter every day, but that is not the goal.  The point is, that from our worldly perspective life absolutely makes no sense. The values that society pushes on us are filled with flaws and contradictions. It is only because of G-d’s kindness that we can find our way out. It’s called the “Torah Perspective” and it’s the Operating System that helps us make sense of our daily experience.

You’re full of it, so empty your head

We are the problem but we also hold the solution. The Torah tells us that we received the Torah in the desert, a vast empty wilderness. Our Rabbi’s explain that in order to receive the Torah our minds need to be empty and void like the desert. How can the aloof and esoteric ideas of the Torah, which come from the highest realm, penetrate our lowly minds if they are totally filled with the idol worship of today’s philosophies and politics? The Torah was written before the world like a blueprint for the Creation.  Our preconceived ideas of what we think life is about, need to be pushed aside for us to achieve the “Torah Perspective”.

This is the interesting part

How empty can you get? Do you believe in G-d? Where is the intelligence that keeps the eco-system running! What acumen keeps the universe spinning a thousand miles per hour through space without crashing? G-d must be pretty darn smart and He must absolutely and totally understand what He is doing.  After all He made everything. So are you ready to receive G-d and His Torah? Here it is: If you don’t understand the circumstances of your life then it means that you don’t understand, but G-d and His Torah do understand.  G-d controls everything and acts according to what is written in His Torah. If you want to make sense of your life then drop your preconceived fantasies and look at life through G-d’s eyes by understanding the values and systems handed down to us at Mount Sina.

So why is life so painful?

Life is perfect for its purpose. If you view life as an opportunity to come closer to G-d things start to make sense. You have to take total responsibility for your side, G-d will take care of the rest and happiness will follow. That is Judaism in a nutshell. If your kids are not going in the right path, do everything you can according to what the Torah has prescribed and know that results are not your business. Each child has its own soul with its own free will which has nothing to do with you. If you don’t have the excess money you feel you deserve, re-evaluate your goals. Do research on what diminishes one’s funds according to the Talmud and then correct yourself. The money will come.  If not, thank G-d for creating such a tight relationship with you that it requires your prayers for every toll booth you pass through. If the Jew haters are in your face then ask the Torah why? Is it the desecration of Shabbos, intermarriage, a general lack of enthusiasm and appreciation for being Jewish? All these effects and their causes are clearly written in the Torah so why sit around depressed when you have the power to both change your perspective and act effectively.

It’s you and G-d and it’s great!

Don’t you see it’s all fair and square? G-d threw us the ball and lets us play in His game. We can’t see all the calculations producing the results but we can still play our part to the best of our abilities knowing that G-d loves us and creates a perfect situation for us to grow.  In your life span you can only see a small sliver of time, Can you make the value judgments needed to understand what is happening now based on the deeds past generations or the needs of future generations.  Maybe your friend is rich because his grandfather sanctified G-d’s name at hand of the Nazis, or his great grandfather helped the poor. Maybe your kids are not going the right way because one of your grandchildren needs to be tested as to whether he will come back to the true Torah way and in the future he will pass with flying colors!

You can find true peace through Torah living

Shavuot is a historic opportunity to accept upon ourselves Torah and mitzvoth. G-d gave us all the secrets for a successful and fulfilling life and it is available free for the taking. Don’t be misled by all the secular propaganda promising you the world yet stealing your happiness and derailing your life. You deserve to be at peace and content with your lot.  You just need to play your part. Our responsibility is as deep as the sea and G-d’s love for us is as high as the heavens. The circumstances of your life and your relationship with G-d are in perfect balance.  The equation is stunning and flawless. If you start to dance you will begin to hear the music. Come close to G-d and He will come close to you.

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Filed Under: Blog, Shavous Tagged With: Disappointment

About Rabbi Mitterhoff

Orthodox Rabbi, Torah Educator & Podcaster. Get Inspiration for Personal Growth - Lessons from Authentic Judaism -The Ultimate Source for Spiritual Development

Comments

  1. Stephan Sundkvist says

    June 10, 2016 at 4:27 PM

    It is very easy to get stuck in illusions and complain that our life doesn´t show up the way we had hoped.

    We live in an upside-down time, where the teachings of the Torah and obedience to G-d has become a weekend business, at the best.

    It is certainly true that G-d is present within everything, in every atom and even minor elements. He is running “the whole show”, weather we understand it or not.

    He is life itself, the One and Only in every created thing, down to the smallest of budding straws.

    Without this wonderful knowledge, our life could look miserable. But, with Him and for Him we can fulfill our mission in life and also perform the mitzva to “Maintain justice. Justice is G d’s business, but we are given the charge to lay down necessary laws and enforce them whenever we can. When we right the wrongs of society, we are acting as partners in the act of sustaining the creation.”

    And we should live according to the Torah and keep all other mitzvos as much as we even know and understand.

    Yeshayahu 42: 3-6

    בלֹא יִצְעַק וְלֹא יִשָּׂא וְלֹא יַשְׁמִיעַ בַּחוּץ קוֹלוֹ:
    3. A breaking reed he shall not break; and a flickering flaxen wick he shall not quench; with truth shall he execute justice. גקָנֶה רָצוּץ לֹא יִשְׁבּוֹר וּפִשְׁתָּה כֵהָה לֹא יְכַבֶּנָּה לֶאֱמֶת יוֹצִיא מִשְׁפָּט:

    4. Neither shall he weaken nor shall he be broken, until he establishes justice in the land, and for his instruction, islands shall long. דלֹא יִכְהֶה וְלֹא יָרוּץ עַד יָשִׂים בָּאָרֶץ מִשְׁפָּט וּלְתוֹרָתוֹ אִיִּים יְיַחֵלוּ:

    5. So said God the Lord, the Creator of the heavens and the One Who stretched them out, Who spread out the earth and what springs forth from it, Who gave a soul to the people upon it and a spirit to those who walk thereon. הכֹּה אָמַר הָאֵל | יְהֹוָה בּוֹרֵא הַשָּׁמַיִם וְנוֹטֵיהֶם רֹקַע הָאָרֶץ וְצֶאֱצָאֶיהָ נֹתֵן נְשָׁמָה לָעָם עָלֶיהָ וְרוּחַ לַהֹלְכִים בָּהּ:

    6. I am the Lord; I called you with righteousness and I will strengthen your hand; and I formed you, and I made you for a people’s covenant, for a light to nations.

    Reply

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